Neale Donald Walsch said that, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” To me that statement means growth. Not always easy, but always something to learn about ourselves. Usually the best thing we learn, is that the perceived danger wasn’t really that bad after all.
However, that gripping feeling of anxiety in the middle of your chest isn’t a feeling that most of us relish. Whether or not you’re voluntarily making a change, or that change was forced upon you, can have a bearing on how paralyzing that feeling is, but change can be scary no matter what.
During my life changes, I remember feeling I just wanted someone to come along with a crystal ball and tell me that everything was going to turn out alright. That person never showed up and so I had to get down to the business of facing the changes and not making myself crazy during the process.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone! Some people feel a real rush when faced with change and they thrive off of the excitement. Some people dig in their heels, put their head in the sand, and fight change like it is a fire breathing dragon attacking their life! But, both people are feeling the stress of change… it’s just how they think about it that is different.
Our bodies are naturally programmed to avoid change, because change is potentially dangerous. Avoiding dangerous situations has kept us alive so use this knowledge to understand those anxious feelings.
When we’re afraid, our body’s physical reaction is called the “flight, or fight” response. We feel the rush of adrenalin, the sweaty palms and the nervous stomach, this happens because we perceive a threat that is either real or imaginary. Blood is rushed to our major muscle groups and away from our digestion, our vision becomes acute and our hearing becomes more sensitive. All so that we can run away quickly, or fight aggressively. This is wonderful if you are being attacked by a tiger, but not so great when you are moving into a new neighborhood or starting a new job.
Here’s the crazy part… your body has the exact same physical reactions when you are excited! It’s true! Hello, “love and first sight” with all of the sweaty palms and butterflies. It’s just like the feeling of danger, but with a little Johnny Mathis background music.
So, let’s break it down… Your body has an automatic response and your thoughts control how you feel about it. And guess who controls your thought? Yes! You do!
Identify your reality. If your reality is good, then you can understand that the fear is only in your mind. The fear or negativity is what you are projecting into the future. But if it hasn’t happened yet, why are you allowing your mind to have that thought? You can just as easily change it around and create a perfectly wonderful future.
The next time you have a life change that makes you feel afraid, just remember that your physical reaction is out of your control, but your mental reaction is completely within your control. Imagine the best possible outcome and then just make it happen!
Here’s an example in case you are having trouble following me:
You’re husband has taken a new job in a new community and it means you will be moving away from the support system that you currently have. Your immediate family will remain together and in fact, your husband will be making more money, your home will be nicer and there are opportunities in this new community for your career to flourish.
On one hand, you could scream and cry that you never want to move, that your husband is ruining your life, and that you are convinced that you will never make friends and that your children will hate their new school.
Or, you could embrace the idea that now you get a chance to reinvent yourself with a whole new group of interesting people and that your family is going to thrive in the new city.
The reality of the actual move is exactly the same, but the story that you tell yourself about your future is powerful enough to make that change either negative or positive.
Bottom line: Change is just change. Your thoughts control your emotions of fear or joy… so chose joy, and then change isn’t so scary.
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