During some of the most difficult times of my life, I’ve thought about the strong, successful women who have come before me. I’m not talking about my mother, or aunts or grandmothers. I like to be more dramatic than that when I’m suffering. I take it back to women like Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, Queen Victoria, Sacajawea, Joan of Arc, and Cleopatra. Ordinary women who have done extraordinary things. But women nonetheless who probably had fears, heartaches, family problems, envy, self-doubt and bad hair days.
When I think of these women, I imagine them having the same struggles that I have, but their reactions being so much better than mine. I truly believe that when Amelia Earhart’s best friend told her that she didn’t think her flight suit was flattering, that Amelia was strong enough to laugh it off and still invite her to the bon voyage party. And can you imagine Cleopatra having self-doubt about her ability to lead a country, or her beauty or her control over the men in her life? Seriously, like Marc Antony wouldn’t have made the bed every day just to win her over! Major confidence in the face of every day fear.
The first time that I was given the idea to use the strength of the powerful women who have come before me was many years ago when I was going through a heartache that was unimaginable. I could feel my pain in every part of my body and my good friends have said that they had never seen such palpable sadness in someone’s face. I went away for a few days to a spa hotel. I thought maybe a massage would help me to relax, and instead it brought all of my sadness to the surface. It was the massage therapist who told me that I should place my hands on my belly and imagine these women from the past. She told me to remember that I was not the first woman to have ever suffered heartache, sadness and fear. She told me to call on the strength of these women to carry me through this hard time.
The act of concentrating on my breathing while thinking about these influential women, was immediately consoling. I suddenly felt a tiny bit stronger. I knew that somehow I was going to survive, just as they had. And, I did.
For each small step that I’ve taken in my life that was a little bit “out there”, I’ve thought about these women. Each time I’ve been afraid to try something new, I’ve thought about the fact that I’m not unique. That all of these women felt the same way at one time or another, and they got through it, and so will I. I know it sounds crazy, but just knowing that I’m not the first woman who has felt insecure and still has taken action, makes me stronger. I remember that successful women are just regular women who have put themselves in a position of risk. They risk their popularity and their comfortable place of anonymity all at the same time. Successful women go after what they desire. Sometimes quietly working behind the scenes and sometimes roaring like a lioness to make themselves heard.
What I know to be true is that every woman I’ve ever met who I think of as successful, is a woman who is constantly reaching for more. She is actively growing personally, spiritually, and professionally. The successful women I know are grateful, humble, giving, and not afraid to ask for help.
Remember a few months ago when I told you that your thoughts dictate your feelings which then dictates your actions? Well, here are a few tricks about directing those thoughts in order to be more successful that I’d like to share with you.
First, do all things with great love. Period. If you are going to put the effort into something whether it’s for your community, your family or yourself… do it with love. A heart of negativity will never lead to success.
Second, each day find as many ways to be grateful as you can. Seriously. If you can learn to be grateful for the difficult times, you already are successful.
Third, help others. Small acts and large acts of kindness are still both kindness.
Finally, check yourself. There is nothing less flattering than a woman who believes she is better than anyone else, so don’t be that woman. And, don’t be the woman who believes she is less than anyone else, either. You were created to be unique and to give your special gifts to the world! So slip into those big girl pants and get out there… there is an army of women who have come before you, cheering you on!
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